Last week I focused on a book near and dear to my heart, The Artist’s Way, and previewed a few writing prompts I gleaned from each chapter.
Today I will do the same with Brene Brown’s bestseller, The Gifts of Imperfection.
For those who might be unfamiliar with Ms. Brown’s work, she is an expert on shame research.
Shame? I thought. I don’t suffer from shame. But after reading this book (three times and counting), I discovered shame is prevalent in my life.
Brown’s simplified definition crystalizes its harmful effects:
- Guilt acknowledges poor behavior – I did something bad – and is helpful in making amends.
- Shame, on the other hand, says I am bad and prevents us from living authentic lives.
Understanding shame is instrumental to another dichotomy Brown discusses:
- Belonging means being accepted for who we are. Belonging cultivates authenticity
- Fitting in, on the other hand, means becoming someone else in order to find acceptance. Fitting in breeds shame and low-esteem.
The Gifts of Imperfection is a must-read book if you are interested in whole-hearted living and accepting who you are meant to be. The author breaks down this process into ten Guideposts for living, each one focusing on a trait we must learn to cultivate, as well as a trait we must learn to release.
A simple outline of these chapters is found below – and the prompt questions are simple:
- How can I cultivate ________ in my life? … Or put another way…
- Why do I avoid cultivating ________ in my life? In what way do I feel underserving?
- How can I release _________ in my life? …Or put another way…
- Why do I continue to hold on to ________ in my life? What purpose does it serve?
Working through these guideposts little-by-little will help bring emotional healing of a broken past and hope for a brighter future.
Need to Cultivate… | Need to Let go…. |
Guidepost #1:
Authenticity
|
What people think |
Guidepost #2:
Self-Compassion
|
Perfectionism |
Guidepost #3:
Resilient Spirit
|
Numbing and Powerlessness |
Guidepost #4:
Gratitude and Joy
|
Scarcity and Fear of the Dark |
Guidepost #5:
Intuition and Trusting Faith
|
Need for Certainty |
Guidepost #6:
Creativity
|
Comparison |
Guidepost #7:
Play and Rest
|
Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth |
Guidepost #8:
Calm and Stillness
|
Anxiety as a Lifestyle |
Guidepost #9:
Meaningful Work
|
Self-doubt and “Supposed to” |
Guidepost #10:
Laughter, Song, and Dance
|
Being Cool and Always in Control |
Good stuff, Maynard.
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Thanks, girlfriend 🙂
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Great ideas on the guideposts – I’ll share this on the GateWay site.
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Thanks so much, Rebecca!
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My sister-in-law was reading this one recently with a church group I think. I suspect it might be a good one for me as well. Thanks for highlighting it and telling us the difference between guilt and shame.
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